When Life Gives You Lemons
by Chfan
Summary: Calvin sets up a lemonade stand. Do the words chain reaction strike terror in your heart?
1. Make Lemonade

A/N: Yay! I exist!

Calvin sat at the kitchen table.

In one hand, a lemon.

In the other, a glass.

He put the lemon over the glass and squeezed.

SPLRT! "AAAAAAAAGH!!!"

Calvin ran around the table, clutching his eye. That is, if you can "clutch" an eye.

Hobbes heard the commotion from Calvin's room.

"He squirted a lemon in his eye again, didn't he?"

Back downstairs, Calvin was grumbling and returning to his seat.

"There's an art to this. I just need to get it right."

"Well, a big step would be to use a juicer," said Hobbes, who had just come downstairs.

"But then it loses all its handmade goodness, its attention to detail, its lack of machinery usage, its…"

"Its sweat and dirt undertones…" Hobbes remarked with a smile.

"Oh, quiet. You're just jealous because I won't tell you why I'm making lemonade!"

"Possibly for a lemonade stand?"

Calvin stopped right before another squeeze. "You aggravate me," he said, returning to his lemon.

Just then, his dad appeared.

His face reflected a thousand parenthoods, but he was only living through one. With Calvin. Hobbes felt sorry for him, as many did. And by "many," I mean…well…everyone.

"Hey dad, want to try some lemonade?"

"All right."

"That'll be ten dollars!"

"Who are you, Starbucks?"

"Hey, I-"

"Speaking of Starbucks, I need a coffee."

"You're getting a coffee at Starbucks?"

"Yes…"

"Only a coffee?"

"Yes."

"Dad, are you talking about Starbucks? Or somewhere else?"

"I'm talking about Starbucks, Calvin! I'm going to Starbucks!"

"Fine. Your funeral…"

"What?"

"Go. Enjoy your coffee."

Calvin's dad sighed, and left.

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Hobbes entered Calvin's dad's trunk.

"This looks like a good place for a nap."

Uh oh…

-------------------------------------

Calvin's dad parked in front of the coffee shop.

He went in to see a lot of people drinking lattes and the like.

"Wonder why they're so hyper."

He said to the barista, "A coffee, please."

There were expressions of shock and disbelief on everyone's faces.

Then, silence.

"E-excuse me?"

"A coffee."

"W-what?"

"I'd like a coffee."

The barista looked as if he was about to get the coffee.

Suddenly, he spun around and barked into a walkie-talkie,

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! HULL BREACH! EVACUATE AND SEND ALL UNITS IMMEDIATELY!"

"What the?" Calvin's dad looked around as sirens blared and red lights almost blinded him.

Mercifully, they stopped, but not until the barista had a word with Dad.

"Sir, I don't know who you are or what you're planning, but WHY would we serve a plain coffee?"

"Isn't that what you sell?"

"Who do you think we are, Dunkin Donuts? We don't serve _coffee_ here, sir! Here, we serve _venti-mocha-frappe-latte-chinos_!"

"I'll ask just one more time. I would like…a coffee."

"Does not compute! Does not compute!" the barista screamed.

**BOOM!**

The barista's head exploded, revealing robotic wiring and such.

Guess he was a robot.

Calvin's dad, now scared out of his mind, slowly turned around to lots of snarling customers.

"Get him!" one yelled.

Calvin's dad did the only thing he could think of- he ran.

Good idea.

"After him!" another yelled, and soon a mob was right behind him.

Uh…oh.


	2. Make a Lemonade Stand

A/N: Please review. Please review. Please please PLEASE REVIEW!!!

We must now leave Dad for a while, as the story really begins here.

Rosalyn scowled as she left her house. She had had the misfortune of babysitting Calvin last night.

'Nuff said.

Rosalyn had a grudge, and anyone with a grudge was usually planning something. It was just the same with Rosalyn.

Last night, Stupendous Man, Tracer Bullet, and Spaceman Spiff had teamed up to defeat the evil "Pimple-Tron 5000."

After that night, Rosalyn probably could have won any track event at the Olympics-or bribed the judges to let her win.

She passed by Calvin's lemonade stand, not even noticing him.

Oh wait, she did.

Suddenly, she had a _very _evil thought.

A smile curled over her face as she walked toward the stand.

"Oh. Callllvin…"

------------------------------------------

Hobbes jerked awake suddenly, hearing some commotion outside the car.

"Hmm…mineral water-What the?"

He looked up to see Dad getting chased out of Starbucks by an angry mob.

"Must've ordered a coffee."

He jumped into the driver's seat, started the car, and began to drive after Dad and the mob.

Hobbes knows how to drive- some trivia for you folks.

Oops.

Better call "Fourth Wall Rebuilding Due to A Writer Mistake Co."

BUILD BUILD BUILD BUILD BUILD

Ahem-sorry about that.

Well, he sort of knows how to drive.

"I'll save you, Calvin's dad!" Hobbes screamed, going at least 70 and driving all over the place.

The police soon took notice and set off after him.

Susie looked up from her dolls just in time to see Dad running from an angry mob, who were followed by a stuffed tiger driving a car all over the place, who was followed by ten cop cars and a helicopter.

She rubbed her eyes, and looked up.

No one there.

"I've got to lay off the Cheez Whiz and chocolate cake." she said, going inside.


End file.
